Dear Adri,

It's sort of funny. It's 1:13 am, the 18th of September. 2 years ago at right about now, I remember laying in bed, trying to get to sleep and a hundred thousand thoughts whizzing through my head.

My flight reservation was made and I'd be getting on the 4:30 am shuttle to go to Atlanta to take a 6:30 am flight to Pittsburgh. My bags were packed. Everyone was alerted that I'd be leaving and off work for a few days at least.

And I lay there, in bed, unable to sleep. My best friend was going to the hospital to have her heart removed and someone else's put into her body. Someone else's child had just been declared brain dead, and as their hearts were breaking and shattering, the atrophied worn out mass of muscles that miraculously kept pumping was getting ready to let go so that someone else's child could keep you with us even a bit longer.

I think we were all so afraid, and so confused and... well so excited at the possibility that you would be able to feel better. Less weary, able to get up and go when you wanted to. We all wanted for you to feel so much better. And yet, we all knew the risks too.

It seems so long ago. A different world when I had fewer worries even though they felt tremendous at the time. I look back at those worries now and they seem to minute and distant and inconsequential.

It's hard to believe that it has been 2 years.

Last week I had to have a minor operation. Nothing even worth getting excited about. When the nurse asked why I waited so long to do it, I looked at her and said "for the past two years, I haven't had time to do anything" and I meant it. Where did the time go? I know the past two years have been a rush to fill a tremendous void but that's not the point.

It's also sort of funny. The other night I dreamed the phone rang. I answered it and it was you. We had a great conversation catching up on things. You asked my how the yard was, and what was going on with Dad, and then you said the strangest thing. You told me I probably needed to quit worrying so much. It struck me as pretty funny that you, Oh-Queen-Fretter-von-Worrisome told me that. But then I realized you were not alive any more, and maybe you had a point, and worrying wasn't the answer. I enjoyed the call by the way. It was good to hear your laugh.

I think I miss that almost most of all. The crackling song of your laughter in all it's pitches and melodies. And knowing I could call you any time of the day or night and you'd be glad to hear from me. That was really special. Thank you.

Yet, I know the people who gave you the heart of their own child are grieving tonight too.

It's sad that it's such a heart wrenching time. You never were able to write the letter to them thanking them for their sacrifice... I know they would have appreciated it. And we can't really do that for you, but we can all remember that tonight, on this auspicious anniversary, as we are missing you so much with your laughter, and sense of acceptance and mischief, and unbounded love, that because someone else was willing to find hope for a stranger in the searing haze of their own devastating loss, we also found that hope from a most generous stranger. And sharing that hope, regardless of the outcome binds us all together.

I miss you so much Adri.

Thank you for everything, including being such a tough broad.

I love you.

Dear Adri,

I need some help here. Something of an intervention on your part, if you can talk to some folks and swing it.

The house in Cleveland really, really needs to sell.

The insurance company that holds the policy on it cancelled.

The roof has to be redone by winter or it will collapse or something dire like that.

Plus there is now black mould in the basement after the rains.

And frankly, it's a drain on him and everyone else.

He left today to go up to check on it/deal with it. I've never seen him more reluctant to go. I mean, granted, he has it pretty good around here, we cook his meals, the house gets cleaned, we pay the bills. Heck, I understand that reluctance quite well. He's fretting about money, and his debts and muttering about that a lot now too. So, like anything you can do would be a big help. okay?

In a few weeks he'll start teaching. We all have our fingers crossed for that one.

And oh yeah, by the way, Happy New Year!! (The Jewish one, of course!)

Oh, and one more thing...

Please make sure that troop of angels is watching over Dad as he's driving up to Ohio.

We miss you.

By the way, next week is the 2nd anniversary of your transplant. I know you felt pretty awful that you never wrote a letter to the family of the donor. It's hard to know what to say. It's especially hard now. But I've got a little something planned to commemorate the day. Just watch this space... you'll see.

And yes, it is as silly as you are!

Miss you lots.

Love you.

Kissy Kissy!

Just to freaky for words - especially since they look so happy.

Just strange....and disturbing.... so very, very disturbing.

Okay, well that's totally freaky.

I talked to the folks. First of all, even just calling "them" at the same number is something I have NEVER done before in my ENTIRE LIFE. They separated before I could use the phone. So anyway, I spoke to them tonight.
They arrived safe and sound. Both sounded good. More relaxed than I 've heard either of them in a long time, and both said the drive was very nice.

Crap. This is NOT what I need.

By the way, the photo is from their honeymoon.

Oh Good Lord, help us all.

Inshallah.

Hi A!

Just a funny thing... And if any one would appreciate the oddity of it, well it would be you.

Some friends of the family are celebrating their 50th Wedding Anniversary.

When I say "friends of the family" I mean, these were the folks who's house I stayed at many summer evenings as a very small child. The Branson's. They were probably my parents closest friends when they were still married. They were part of the meeting. They had 3 kids - a bit older than Sam and I. I remember being a small kid and playing at their house and it feeling as much like home as my own.

Anyway, their kids are throwing a celebratory shin dig for them, somewhere in the Midwest. They sent invitations to every one. So Dad got one, and my mother got one. Well, in that my folks now live about 1.5 hours apart, and are in contact, due to our household... and wanted to save money. They decided to drive up to the celebration together.

Yes. Mom and Dad in the same car for 10 - 12 hours. Each way.
I don't know if I should laugh or cry.

Actually, they have been getting along pretty well, and I have to give them credit for it. No, no rekindled romance here. (PLEASE GOD! NO!!) But a camaraderie of people who have shared a life together for 50+ years through their children.

Dad left early this morning. I talked to Mom a while ago, and she was getting ready and waiting for him.

Honestly, I would love to know how it goes. But at the same time, I don't. I just think it is sort of funny.
I just don't know if it is funny-eh? or funny- ha-ha.

If you have any suggestions, please let me know.

Oh, and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BRANSONS!! WAY TO GO!!

Dear Adri,

I love you. You know that. But you've left Dad in a fine mess.

The house in Cleveland still hasn't sold and the cost of it is sucking away more than his social security and his retirement pension brings in. He makes draws from what he has left in his savings to make up the difference so that he can pay his bills and no go deeper into debt. But the savings will run out. The house will need significant roof work before winter and that will likely leave him with almost nothing to live on for the rest of his life. The price of the house has been reduced again to get him out from under it. If he breaks even with the mortgage at this point, I'll be impressed.

In the meantime, Bill and I have not been paid the more than $6000 it cost to move him (not including our time and energy). He lives with us and we pay 95% of the food costs. We have not accepted any money in rent, nothing towards utilities, or otherwise because we know how dire his finances are. He is doing well, but still, his health is not great. Even he says it is likely that it won't get better.

And yet once again, the greed of some people does not cease to amaze me.

I got a call today from a check cashing company in Cleveland asking if he has written a check for $900? I said I did not know but he didn't have the money in the first place to be giving away. While he may beg to differ, since he has withdrawn money AGAIN from his dwindling savings, he is a 73 year old man who is digging himself into debt at my expense and yet he sends cash to two people too lazy to get off their fat asses and get to work.

Sure I know it is hard. I've been there. I've been so broke I couldn't afford to pay attention. I know how frightening it is not to know if I could pay rent month to month or buy groceries week to week. But I also know that when there are wolves at the door, it is a great motivator to deal with it, myself and on my own.

But how dare they even approach him for money when their own parents make a decent living? Why do people who have no relation to my father perpetually think that he is their personal cash machine and yet they would not life a finger to get the house ready to put on the market so he could sell it. For that matter, it cost us an additional $1000 just to pay a professional cleaning service to clean their part of the house after we had to get all of their trash out of it.

It is absolutely SHAMEFUL that anyone would do that to him. It is an absolute embarrassment that my father would let people who would no more lift a finger to help him drive him even faster into financial ruin. Especially since once he has no more money, my brother and I will be the only ones responsible for him. That is what children do. They take care of their parents. But that in no way means that I am willing to let other people leach off of him. I don't care how bad their conditions are. If they have to live in a car, in a homeless shelter, on the street and scrounge in dumpsters to feed themselves. I do not care.

I am furious with him, for being so gullible. I am absolutely disgusted with them for being so selfish.

Oh, and as for the adjunct teaching he'll be doing, it will barely cover his expenses. If that. Much less anything like car repairs, vet bills, additional medical costs, insurance.

Adri, I love you. But you've left a fine mess.

Hi A!

Okay, it's obviously been a while. Been busy. Been on other side of the planet. Made it back.

A couple of new developments:

Bill is now working at Peach Mac - the local Apple store and it pretty happy about it. We're all glad he's out from under the fundamentalist folks he was working for, since they were pretty much convinced they were saving immortal souls by not fixing computers for Unitarians. They were even leery of Lutherans. Enough said.

James has his driver's licence and continues to be an impressive young man. He worked as a life guard all summer at a community pool in a local housing project. It was a good experience for him. He's now enjoying being able to go out and drive and be a bit more independent. He's also an excellent errand runner... He's a senior this year, and seems to enjoy his classes - Literature Honors, Journalism II, Drama III, and AP Physics.
We're looking at options for him next year. He maintains he wants to be a pirate when he grows up. Oddly, I think he could do it. But I can see myself at some cocktail party saying something like "My son, the Pirate..."
Well, at least we all can laugh about it.

Dad is getting ready to start teaching Anatomy and Physiology at Athens Technical College. He'll be teaching all the students who are going into the medical programs - Nursing, EMTs, radiology, physical therapy, etc. The pay will be low, but something. And more importantly, it will give him something to do with his time. He's been going to Quaker Meeting here in Athens, playing music with one of our neighbors regularly, and otherwise doing a lot of crossword puzzles, reading the newspaper, all the mail he gets, the National Enquirer, and generally just hanging out. The house still hasn't sold, but we keep hoping... ugh.

And I'm doing well too. I've been working my touchas off, as always, which is good, especially since Bill took a temporary pay cut with the new job. Had 2 weeks in South Africa and Namibia, which was great. Working with Tim continues to be a blast. We were in Cape Town for a big International Waters meeting a few weeks ago, and that was very exciting. I think I may have some new business coming in as a result of it. (Inshallah!) My new office space is progressing and I've gotten a structural engineer to sign off on my plans with a few minor adjustments. It will be interesting, but that's another blog.

We all miss you lots.

I guess we always will...

Kissy kissy

Hi Adri!

It's been a while since I've posted. I guess our regular conversations have been more direct, less on the internet lately. Things have been crazy busy. Crazy crazy busy.

Martin, our second partner has decided to cut back on his work so Tim and I have picked up even more. Things with GEF SEC are absurd. And I've been on the road. So far this year I've hopped the Atlantic 6 times, been on 4 continents and stayed in more hotels than I care to remember.

But all in all it's going well. You know that.

Actually, I'm writing to let folks know I've put up a new blog. I'm building a new office on our property, and it's a good challenge. I'm looking for constructive feedback (hee hee) and thought folks might be interested.

The address is: http://greened-house.blogspot.com/

Oh, the house still hasn't sold. I don't want to talk about it.

James is working as a life guard and assistant manager at a city pool in a low income neighborhood. It will go well with his anti-poverty work he was involved with last year.

Bill is fine. He's a trooper if ever there was one. He saved the nest of Carolina Wren eggs in a plant on our front porch from a snake last night and then turned the snake loose in a wilderness area near by. Momma bird was very happy. Bill was very happy. He's been muttering "save the birds, save the snake, next save the cheerleader, save the world." Too much TV maybe?

Dad is doing well. He's finding things to do. He's been walking regularly, and playing music with a neighbor friend of ours. He's also been running James to work a lot, which is a big help. (He'll get his licence next month - James, not Dad) He's got a roof over his head, and food in his belly.

Sam and crew are coming down next week. That should be good fun.

And I'm hanging in there. I'm working a lot. Too much probably. But I still really like it.

I managed to wash my passport in the laundry. Yes, it was ruined. So I had to get another one. I sent off for it about three weeks ago - expedited. This morning, I heard a report that even with expedited requests from Congress, people were still waiting 10 weeks!!! HOLY CRAP!!! And then wonder of wonders, miracles of miracles, it came in the mail today!!! YIPEEE!!! I'm not grounded any more!!!

And so it goes... like sand through the hour glass, so are the days of our lives... What ever that means.

Must go,

TTFN

Kissy Kissy